Pre-Europe #3: The buying ends?

Well - this Saturday basically saw me break my bank account. For a person who detests shopping, worries about money, and hates buying clothes above all other things - I not only did all three pretty much ALL day - but I believe I spent the most money I've ever spent all at once.

Ok - so some of it was pre-paying future bills, setting aside taxes and making sure that our rent is paid for the month we're away - but damn if I wasn't hyperventilating at all the money I saw disappear right in front of my eyes.

Today was basically a shop till you drop kind of day - and required a LOT of trying things on - cursing the lack of good-looking, comfortable walking shoes - and watching my credit card swipe over and over and over again. I believe VISA should be calling me first thing tomorrow morning to make sure that I didn't lose the card to a thief.

Anywho - what did we end up with? Let's see - first stop was dropping Bobo-Fett at at the groomers so that she didn't shed all over the carpet of her doggie-sitters for the three weeks we're gone - aka H-Rabbit's parents'. We then went and got H-Rabbit's new glasses and sun glasses so she could actually SEE Europe when we get there rather than just the end of her nose.

From there - we then made our way to Markville - where I picked up the very necessary socks and undies from Sears. We also met H-Rabbit's mom who works there - I was told to shop at Markville without visiting when we KNEW she was there was basically being asked to be murdered - so, c'est ca. H-Rabbit also picked up a pair of skorts that were on sale.

We then ventured elsewhere in the mall which led to tons of aggravating shoe shopping until we finally settled at Coast Mountain Sports. I think the sales rep was flabbergasted as what to do with us as we took forever, changed our minds ten times, and got him to bring out a ton of shoes.

At one point I'd even settled on a pair of walking-runners from The North Face for quite awhile as H-Rabbit was thinking about walking sandals and agonizing between a pair from The North Face and the super comfortable off-white flip-flops from Columbia - when I realized I didn't really like the shoes so much as the price - and that I really didn't want to buy something I hated just because it was cheap.

So instead - I went for a fairly expensive but good quality Keen walking sandal (since I needed sandals too for the super hot Italy and Greece) and H-Rabbit finally settled on a North Face gel-bottomed pair and we were at least set with one pair each (even though I still didn't have the walking-runners that I really needed...).

See - my problem with runners lie in that I absolutely adore Skater shoes - and hate running shoes - but Skater shoes are simply way too heavy and way to non-foot conforming for walking miles and miles and miles across Europe. The thing is - they are soooo awesome looking. You would think - that in this day and age - runners would also be awesome looking - but no. They're not - and for some reason - 99.99999% of them are white or at least white-based - and I detest that in a shoe. Especially if it's a shoe you reasonably expect to wear, oh, I don't know, outside!! In the dirt!! Where white shoes become brown!!

Anywho - back to the shopping. From there we then went to the Shoe Company to see if they had any runners I'd like - no luck. So we simply picked up our now half-the-size puppy (realizing that she is actually NOT fat - just fur-fat - and we actually have a damn skinny dog) and went home for a quick bite to eat before heading off to Vaughn Mills.

Oh - I forgot to mention - that amongst all that other shopping - we had also been stopping into clothes stores - however this had been mostly for H-Rabbit since I can't fit into anything on offer at most malls. So during our break - I also quickly looked up the stores that carry MXM so I could at least look young-ish in the chubby clothes that I needed to buy.

Before heading to our final destination of Vaughan Mills, we stopped at the Colossus Centre for me - and popped into the Addition-Elle they have there. After trying on a ton of clothes - I ended up walking away with: 2 bras (which cost a million dollars... ouch), 2 tank tops, some shorts, a bathing suit tank and a pair of skorts. That little trip alone cut into my credit card at a quarter grand - ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

Let's just say from that point on I stopped counting - and still have yet to look at the damage. That's the task for AFTER writing this.

At Vaughan Mills - we did a lot more stops for H-Rabbit - but I DID find my running shoes!! Athlete's World finally had a pair of New Balance black running shoes that a) didn't look like a dog's breakfast, and b) I could actually see my self-proclaimed-designer-self wearing everyday without cringing at every step.

After that - I was feeling pretty good that my list was finally complete (sans some itty bitty things) that I actually walked myself into an H&M (which I hate doing) and managed to find not one, but two hats for under $20 total, so that I don't burn my head in the hot European suns.

Thankfully after that, we ended with dinner and came home. I am soooooooo dreading looking at my account. Especially since there are a few more things that we need to get - but hopefully now I can scrounge around the house and make a few "substitutions" to alleviate the wallet pressure.

Hopefully.

Gah! Weight #2: 10,000 Uruk-hai!!!!!!!!

Ok... not really, but 10,000 steps!!!!!!!

At least - that was Tuesday - I actually made my stepping quota - but then Wednesday was a total wash because we had to drive back and forth from Buffalo for a work photo shoot, and yesterday the bloody subway stopped working right when I was leaving for work... sooo - progress so far:

Tuesday: 10,000 steps
Wednesday: g.o.k. number of steps (the counter was forgotten)
Thursday: 5201 steps

So - promise to myself now - if I don't make 10,000 I simply have to to down and walk it off in the gym - either that or on the trampoline. One or the other.

Here's to another day...

Pre-Europe #2: The books

Knocking another item off the preparation list: books.

Basically - one of the most prevalent pieces of advice we've been receiving from friends is that before we leave, we should really research ahead of time what events, sights, sounds and flavours we actually want to experience in each of the major city stops we make. Most people have been saying that when they just floated along with the Contiki version of the tour at every avenue, they really missed "actually" visiting most things that they wanted to. Sightseeing tours consisted more of walking up to the outside of monuments/places and "seeing" them - but never going inside or actually exploring them.

So - knowing that, Heather finally convinced me that we needed to buy a traveller's book for the area to at least find a few key things that we would plan on actually "experiencing" on our own, regardless of what the tour was doing. Once at Indigo - it took us awhile to settle on which book would be best for us - and the one we thought we wanted didn't even seem to exist (Rick Steves' version of Western Europe, which apparently, he hasn't done...)- but finally settled on "Let's Go: Western Europe". While not being an extensive descriptor, it does cover every city we're visiting and gives us a good base of things we might want to do in each plaee, as well as some great tips on food, cheap activities and things we shouldn't miss.

Besides that - Heather also reminded me that during our only one-week vacation in Cuba - I managed to finish reading two full novels, most of which occurred on our flights - so I might as well pick up reading material while we were at the bookstore. I had a little bit of a quandry at this junction as there weren't any books that were on my "need to read" list right now, and being out of distance range to call Mandy, and at a loss of a new cell number for Daena (who are both staunch sources of good reads), i had to rely heavily on book covers and inserts - very rarely a good way to pick a book.

In then end - I picked up the following three titles (there's was a Buy 3, Get 1 Free sale) after much humming and hawing and going through a ton of choices that I never really felt good about - but yeah, they are: The God of Small Things, By Arundhati Roy, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, By Michael Chabon and finally The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, By Mark Haddon. Here's to hoping they last me through the trip and that I don't fall victim to the dreaded possibility of the "unreadable" book. I've only had two or three of those in my lifetime so far - but the thought of reaching the next one still fills me with fear.

Gah! Weight #1: Kicking in some incentive the DS way….

So I thoroughly admit the only time I bother doing anything “real” is when I don’t plan it, don’t anticipate it and just jump right in and do it, so yesterday – I took one angle I’d been looking at for addressing my effort towards my weight.

As I walked to work, I went right by the new EB Games in the Sheppard Centre, walked right up to the DS counter and picked up Ubisoft’s My Weight Loss Coach. Do I think following this thing is magically going to make me do all the things I know I should be doing but haven’t been doing. No. But it is going to help me begin to change my attitude towards getting up and making changing myself more fun than a chore – especially now that it’s been a year since understanding my cyst/hormonal/ovarian problems, and working in the whole hormonal control pills.

My biggest problem with weight loss is not being able to just follow my own plan – I seriously need to be given guidelines and instructions to follow that I can then lean on as my “barrier” to doing anything else. I figure if I can follow the simple instructions of a program like this, then it’s more likely that I’d be able to follow more stringent and EXPENSIVE instructions of something like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I know that I eventually need some sort of program like that – but my financial situation simply does not allow for the consideration at this point.
Anywho – I started working with the DS program and the included pedometer today and it’s already much more fun than listening to someone berate me about how I look or how seriously unhealthy I am. I’ve even clocked over 3000 steps so far.

I’m not going to blog about this every day, but I figured incentive number two to keep going and NOT embarrass myself is to also coordinate some of my stats every little while on here as well as the DS so I can see how it’s going and whether things are actually panning out.
So – with much strength and realization that this makes it all very REAL – here are today’s stats:

Weight: 230 lbs.
BMI: 40
Size: 18 to 20-top, 20 to 22-bottom

According to the program – my goal for the month is a loss of 5 pounds, so 1 pound per week. Fairly normal, respectable expectation, however, I’ve said that for months trying fifty million other things so we’ll see how it all works out.

Pre-Europe #1: The buying begins

So we've got less than two weeks before we leave for our grand European adventure so all the purchases we have to make, that I was hoping to waylay, and magically forget about, are starting to pile up and need attention.

So today - we began with some of the fun stuff. Heather found a 75-300mm zoom lens on sale at Black's for our Canon digital SLR, so after work I ran to the super store at Dundas and Yonge and snatched it up. It was the only one left, and the only difference between it and the new version was that it didn't self-clean itself... whoop-de-doo.

While there - I also spent much time debating over a travel tripod and a monopod. In the end - I went with the monopod only because I found no use in the table-top size tripods and no matter how small the full-size travel tripods were, they still weren't small enough to fit comfortably in my backpack. At least with the monopod, I have stability AND I can manage to fit it in diagonally in my backpack. Plus - this particular monopod was only $25 - even though the much smaller, crappier and unstable Manfroto monopod was friggin' $84!

(Heather and I have already started playing with the new lens and monopod to get used to taking pictures quickly, as well as how things will go fi we shoot RAW for the entire trip. She's not liking that our numbers of pictures severely go down, but I LOVE what you can do to RAW to fix things that just aren't possible when the pic is already compressed.)

Oh! I guess I should backtrack a bit on our spending spree! Really - our trip shopping actually started two weeks ago when we first visited MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-op) to look at bags - but that day we only managed to pick up the camera case. Then last week we went and spent a fair amount of time during a lunch break to pick out my main carry-on backpack that has tons of room and space for my computer, as well as two small "purse" back-packs for each of us to take on small day trips and anywhere that I don't want to carry a big load with me. We're hoping that we really don't end up having to carry all too much during the day - though we are both worried about the security of our belongings in some parts, and/or the ability to go back and forth from the bus/hotels, etc.

Anywho - back to earlier today. When I finished with the monopod and lens - I tried finding a case for the lens and was denied! Blacks' selection was not up to par - but I talked to Mike later tonight and he said I just need to go to the downtown Henry's and there'll be something for me for sure. I want the soft-but-firm qualities of Lowe-Pro - but hopefully not get stuck with anything that's too bulky. Lowe-Pro continually fails to recognize that most of their carrying cases/bags are 99% of the time thrown into yet ANOTHER bag and are not carried around just on their own - the straps are not comfortable and they don't hold enough stuff...

Lastly - I went to the inside-the-Eaton-Centre Black's afterwards (cause the other location was closing) to pick up a lens cleaning pack, and then to best Buy to check out memory card prices. Compact Flash cards are ridiculously and non-sensically WAY more expensive than any other memory card which really pisses me off. There's no reason for it and I promptly did NOT buy any more memory. I'm hoping the cards we have will do, and I'll just have to download every night before we head to bed to make sure that we're set for the next day.

And that was the end of the day's shopping. We hope to get something bought and put away on our list each day since we have so few left. I can't believe we leave so soon!

Social Bookmarking

Oi! So while I know I've totally been out of the "physically coding" spectrum of my knowledge, work and what-not for a few years - I can't believe that I had SOOO much trouble finding a decent code (aka working code) for a social bookmarking app/widget.

Searching Google was an abysmal foray which led me to every hack known to man that needed 50 other hacks to itself to actually work.

It was more through reading people's comments, forums and chats that I finally found one that I could live with, and could easily manipulate with my understanding of xml/javascript/html (which is a roller-coaster of limits) and that I still liked the look of.

Hans at Beautiful Beta has an extremely easy to insert and easy to understand Social Bookmarking javascript code that works wonderfully. He also gives direct instructions for use on Blogger, which had been the bane of many of the other apps I saw out there, which when I implemented simply did NOT work with Blogger. He's also got a lot of other widgets and codes that I'm sure would interest a lot of bloggers.

Anywho - that's my short technical rant for today - and I'm sure you can see the results of my work now (or really Hans' work) at the end of each of my posts now!

Topicular Blogs #1: Chocolate Whispers

So far I've been trying to come up with regular blog columns that I can lean on when I'm in between "real" things to say... haha. Anywho - I've decided to do blog collections based by theme for this, as searched through Google - which will now bring me up to three columns that I could definitely do more regularly, or at least quickly when I realize I haven't blogged in awhile.

Today's topic: Chocolate Whispers

By Rosocrozit from One Year with my EOS (edited by me somewhat to fit my layout)

1. Washington Whispers Blog: By Paul Bedard
   Paul forwards a warning about Atlanta's Bella Cucina foods and their Death by Chocolate cookies.


2. Candy Blog
   Taking a look at Cadbury's Dairy Milk Whispers - or more commonly known as Malt Balls.


3. Wicked Whispers
   A look at Ethel's Chocolate Lounge and a few notable chocolate quotes.


4. Rose's Recipes
   Slight disappoinment as this "recipe" blog only has a picture of this White Chocolate Whisper Cake - however does provide a link to where the recipe came from.


5. Mark Sisson's Daily Apple
   This one's all about how to "Dog Whisper" your food cravings. Actually quite a useful blog for those wanting to curb their carb craving appetites.

Ramblings of the Written Kind: #2

Another piece dug out of the "drawer"...:

And it just hits you – this need to write and write and write because nothing comes out right when you say it and nothing seems so clear and honest as when you take that jump from heart and mind to page and ink.

I let the music on my stereo fill the room and even overpower some of my thoughts so that only the baer essentials from my brain drip through.

I feel bloated with emotion and energy – like I’m bursting at the seams with all these things that I want to do and see and experience, and yet life seems to get in the way. This city, this place, this experience of living has become some drollery of tedious cyclical momentum – energy building and building with no way to release itself into a wider arena than a life which presents itself as a room with no doors, no windows - only white-washed walls with no discernable physicality.

Sometimes I wish to just explode on the page with no idea as to what it is that I’m writing at all. I want to feel and express everything within, so much tied into such a small soul – in a way music does but with my own capabilities – of which music is not one. I used to think it was – but I am humbled by the greatness I come upon in others everyday. I do not have the voice of an angel, I do not have the fingers of a virtuoso, I do not have the perseverance of a struggling artist – I only have that deep inner want that drives talentless schmucks such as I into an oblivion of desperation with no way to actualize true fruition.

It would be one thing to write an actual story – something that could be read and understood and connected with an actual reader – but I have no cause to write such a tale – because there’s no real story to tell – no meaning to impart that I don’t believe hasn’t been told a million times.

And then, so it dies, this false sugar energy of mine disguised as actual ambition. Reality builds its brick wall in an instant and doubt and fear and listlessness pervade.

How fleeting inspiration is, and how I long for it to return.

Ouch! My ears....

So - the thing is - I knew my phone was doing something to my ears when I used it - because basically if I ever spent more than 2 minutes on a call, the side of my head would actually get hot... but I kind of didn't think of it like this at all...



I seriously need to stick to texting only!

Ramblings of the Written Kind: #1

One of my biggest failings when I write is that I constantly and consistently start and stop... and then do not continue when I pick up again. Instead, I start all anew. It definitely makes for a very unfruitful use of my writing for sure. However - I also tend to like the bits on their own for what they are - the memories they bring and the feelings they evoke.

I used to post on thisisby.us, and do still love that community to bits, it's just a bit of a task to write there, as it requires trying my hardest to keep the "me" out of "me"... so instead, I figured I'd post a few things here...

Here is a bit, I dug out of the heap...

Somewhere along the way, our relationship had turned into an old pair of jeans, the ones you basically love and wear to death. The hole of our fight had been patched lovingly, caringly, and slowly - with strong thread that not only bound the woven fabric of two existence planes of our partnership together, but interconnected them in a way that to the average eye, made them seem like one. But like those old pair of jeans, as time went by, the patch proved stronger than the original whole.

Bit by bit, just as every pair of jeans eventually do, the greater original base of who we were slowly wore away, and eventually, the only part that remained was the patch alone. We had turned ourselves into a woven scab of tiptoes and glances that were wholly evident in all our conversations and truths. Only a shadow of our original connection lay hidden under the patchwork we created – destined to forever be obscured for the sake of holding it all together. Oh to glance at the remnants of our original selves one last time – but no. Such an action would only kill all that is left, and leave a patch unto itself – something meaningless and no longer useful because its purpose had completely fallen away.

Running Around the Blogosphere: #1

I've been really bothered and fidgety this week - sometimes to the point of full our aggravation, so I've been spending a lot of time hitting "Next Blog" to see what's happening in the blogosphere. I am learning quikcly however - that "Next Blog" may not be the best way to complete my traversing.

For the millions of blogs that must be out there - I find that the "randomness" of Next Blog per each session really isn't all that random at all. In fact it's so not random that I tend to come up with a few blogs three or four times. Weird.

Anywho - here are a few that I DID find that I liked this week.

IKEA Hacker
I absolutely LOVE the collection of IKEA hacks and creative manipulation that you can find in this blog. Lots of pictures and straightforward and simple writing makes the blog a great site for finding new and innovative ways in which you can use IKEA products.

I fully admit - our own IKEA hacks lay soley in art-ing up our Malma mirrors - but maybe when we stop renting and actually get a place of our own, I'll be more adverturous to try manipulating larger pieces.

I fully admit I haven't found a hack that I absolutely HAVE to try myself yet, but I am enjoying the bedroom and living room hacks the most.

N.Design Studio
I was totally drawn by this designer's blog background which is simply gorgeous and well laid out. The clear information groupings also then led me in to actually read the rest of the blog. S/He's got some great beginner tutorials in illustrator that I tried out as soon as I came across them. Plus - it's a little neat to think - here's this stranger that lives right in the same city as me and I'm totally pouring all over their personal web pad. Who knows - s/he could live next door!

S/He's got a lot of great freebies on-site, and links to other places where you can find more. It was also neat to read about the work s/he's involved with though the site hasn't been updated with a new blog post for awhile. I hope that s/he writers some new news soon.

Wack of Scrapbooking Blogs
Well - I didn't just want to pick on or another of these - cause damn there are like fifty-million of them! So what I tried to do was stick to ones that were in Canada, or better yet right here in Toronto. Here are two random ones I came across: Scrapbooking With Vanilla, and The Paper Tag.

I'll be honest - I didn't come across anything that totally excited me - though scrapbooking in general is still a rough spot for me. The bulkiness of it all still wrangles with the magazine designer in me who is so used to being able to lay out a page any way I want but feel total pleasure and gratification in a clean, silky, smooth page. Crinkles and patterns and thick paper with buttons and clips and all sorts of crazy things sticking out just doesn't appeal to me... especially when the photos and pretty paper begin to curdle and roll. Sigh.

Creations By Melinda
While this blog specifically isn't necessarily the best of the quilting blogs that I came across, I was entirely inpressed by this lady's art quilt that she did in all of one class in one day. It is always inspiring to see what other people are up to and what they can accomplish in specific amounts of time. I am always finding it hard to complete projects and wish I could be more assertive in getting my crafty things done.

Anywho - that's it for my romp around the Blogosphere today. Next week I'm going to concentrate on the blogs of Etsy artists that I like to get an inside look at how they go about creating their wares for sale, and not just looking at the wares themselves.

What this blog was supposed to be about...

I have definitely moved way off track.

The point of starting this blog was to augment my initiative to get my butt moving on all the things that I want to accomplish in the grand scheme of my life, as well as to be different from all the other blogs that I've managed to dig a grand 'ole massive hole of anger, depression and crap into.

That said - I'm guessing I must start again.

Yesterday I had a great lunch with Paul and we talked all things magazine which is big goal number one in both our books. So - that's where my thoughts will lie today. I need to re-send my notes file, and I need to clear out the "garbage" in and around the house/life that's in my way.

I also need to severely set a date for writing and finishing the business plan.

And do my taxes.... which I haven't.... which is quite dumb as I'm pretty sure there's money coming to me and it would have been nice to have for Europe....

Oh! I should blog about the new iPhone! Which we sooooo wanted before leaving - but now it's not coming out until after we leave... which is aggravating... I'm thinking we most likely will just ahve to wait until we get back... but it would have proved extremely useful over there seeing as how it could have replaced my phone, DS, and computer all in one and now I ahve to think about taking all those things....

I was planning to blog while on trip but now I'm not so sure. One part not having time, other part not wanting to lug my precious Mac-ie all the way across the ocean!

Anywho - time to jet. Work awaits.

sky flashing

My room is unbelievably sticky. We have awesome air conditioning and yet my room, of all the rooms in the condo, and me being the only one who is hot - is simply NOT cold.

It is aggravating to say the least.

The thunderstorms that we were warned about for friggin' days finally descended upon us. I officially distrust the weather network in all my being. They had made this past weekend absolutely hell to plan for - not least of all these first few work days.

I think I'm sick. I'm not sure with what yet. It started with sneezing - which went away - then an itchy throat - which went away - and now extreme lethargy - which is not going away. Though that may be much more highly attuned to the fact that I am not excited about anything right now.

I'm not even excited about Europe - because all the excitement has turned to worry that we don't have enough time to get ready or have enough money to pay for both the trip and the rent that needs to be covered at the exact same time.

It prolly would have been smart to find someone to sort of sub-let for the time we're gone - but that requires time, effort and work that I don't even want to pretend I have, let alone truly find in order to pull it off.

Thought jump... number eleven million as I look back at the rest of this post - but anywho - I am officially hating stuck-up academics - though that's not particularly true. I'm actually hating one specific academic who doesn't realize that they are way out of the loop - and out of academia. I fully appreciate the awesomeness that is our friend Mandy who is not only way, way, way, way farther in academic pursuit than this particular person - but has also managed to remain an awesome human being during it all.

Somewhere along the way someone lied to this other person way too much and they have no clue that pretty much 99% of the world does not care about how high their education is - because it still doesn't make them any better a person. You are not a great person. In fact - most times - you can be fairly, absolutely, crazy.

I at least can admit that I'm crazy - and I most definitely do not shove my education in anyone's face at the same time. If only because most of it was achieved in a cloudy haze of crap, and so far it hasn't proved to be worth a damn thing in life and I'm still doing okay.

Yeah - this was a shit post - but so be it. It has been one hell of a shit day.

Surrounded... by female suburbia

Looking for the other words,
the ones profound, deep and vague
to cover the stinging truths.

I've realized lately that truth is relative,
very much spirited
by the reality we can actually handle -
the essences our fragility will bear.

I feel sad for the inability to conform,
and disgusted that I should feel so.

I hate that power the envelopes me,
that I've afforded to such people,
who have no respect or regard
for anything other than themselves.

I am not a fish out of water.
I am a fish with legs
who wishes never to go back.

Eight Minutes

Eight minutes to just quickly say
everything that's running circles in my head

I'm not exactly excited about wedding after wedding
I don't see fulfillment in reaching the same goals
I don't want to follow just to be in touch
But I still miss them all, all the same

I hate that I'm an angry person
I hate that what I got from him was that
This boiled and concentrated pit of black
that only explodes in the confines of home

I'm frustrated with not having the things I want
and knowing that some of them are things I actually need
I look around and grow crazy with frustration
and yet can't lift a thumb in movement

I hate being lazy
I hate being cash-strapped
I hate being a different version of me

My mind wants to run back almost 15 years
My body ran forward almost 20
I do not see me in me

My eight minutes are up

My part in The Game

Bandwagon hopping on to "The Game" as first posted in my world by Michele.

1. Hydrangea, 2. Dal Roti, 3. Before the wrap., 4. End Of The Day, 5. Orlando prend la pose, 6. Uberbahn, 7. Dust-up at Dusk, 8. Bailey's Irish Cream Cheesecake, 9. step magazine.JPG, 10. wynnie be good, 11. Crayon Me Beautiful, 12. Gemini